Early
in May, the high school visited the newly-renamed Oceanside East School
in Rockland to watch a film called, “Bullied.” Though this documentary
should not to be confused with “Bully”, a new independent film making
its way to Maine in the next few weeks, “Bullied” addressed many of the
same issues, including school policy and action, or lack thereof. The
high school faculty agreed we and the students needed to see it, so we
joined area schools and converged in the former Rockland District High
School auditorium.
“Bullied”
focuses on a gay man, Jamie Nabozny, who won a large settlement in a
court case against his school system after its administration failed to
protect him from the physical and emotional damage resulting from many
years of anti-gay, homophobic bullying. Nabozny attended the Rockland
screening, asked the students several questions and also took their
questions. When he asked the Midcoast teenagers in the auditorium to
raise their hands if they feel safe in school, not one Rockland,
Thomaston, Vinalhaven or North Haven hand went up. This reality pointed
squarely at Trekkers Executive Director Don Carpenter’s emotional
introduction of Nabozny. Carpenter stood before several hundred
teenagers and nearly a hundred faculty and staff members and admitted he
had been on all sides of the bullying dynamic. “I have been bullied, I
have been a bully, and I have stood by and done nothing when I witnessed
bullying,” he said. This simple truth resonated with every person in
the hall.
All
the North Haven Community School faculty, not just high school
teachers, administration and staff work every day to create and maintain
a safe environment. As a teacher anywhere, let alone in a tiny school
where we pride ourselves on personal, nearly one on one teaching, seeing
evidence that your students find the climate threatening is
uncomfortable at best, shaming at worst. We went to the screening of
“Bullied” because we wanted to face reality, not because we wanted to be
comforted.
In
the film, Nabozny got abuse for being studious and emotional. To many
bullies, kindness, nurturing, and concern for others equal weakness. We
all have heard a version of this misogyny on the playground when a child
gets criticized for playing a sport, “like a girl.” Because my NHCS
classroom is adjacent to the high school locker rooms, outbursts from
students who imagine they are out of earshot, too often contain epithets
using the word “gay” as a euphemism for stupid, ugly, or confusing.
Though consequences and conversation have helped, teachers around the
country fight this stereotype, so we know we are not alone.
This
fall we have an opportunity, with the coming high school grouping:
eight girls, seven freshmen and one sophomore; and 11 boys, two seniors,
four juniors, two sophomores, and three freshmen, to hear a wide
variety of voices from the student body. With Principal-Elect Amy Marx’s
leadership, faculty voices may discover new tunes while bringing Marx
into the chorus that echoes in the halls of NHCS.
Cooperation,
tolerance, sensitivity, empathy, and kindness build trust and personal
relationships and give our work meaning. These traits are part and
parcel of the NHCS mission exiting Principal Barney Hallowell has given
his adult life to promote and embody. The finest appreciation of this
legacy we could provide him would be to honor these precepts by living
them.
